Children and Running

Last night we had plans to have dinner and see some friends. We were so excited about it; it's been ages since we've had a night out without the kids. After we dropped the kids off with my mom I had an uneasy feeling. Max has been having really severe meltdowns lately, and unfortunately I can kind of tell when they're coming. The signs were there as Leo and I left them at the house. We walked from the car to the restaurant in the hurricane, trying our best to stay dry under a tiny one-person umbrella. We failed and we're drenched by the time we got in. We decided what to order, wondered if we should call my mom and check in (decided against), opened my beer, and started looking forward to our dinner and plans later. As we ordered, the hostess whispered in my ear that my mother had called and requested that I call her (guess the cell was on 'silent' - oops). I  knew what had happened, and felt just horrible for her as she explained that Max had flipped out (screaming, yelling, the works) and she couldn't manage it. I took off for the car while Leo told the waitress we had to leave. I can't imagine what they thought happened. I tore out of the restaurant in a rage, but to the staff there it probably looked like I was terrified. I'm sure the thought the worst, and I am kind of considering calling them to tell them nothing bad happened, my oldest is just an occassional monster.  So last night was a total bust. We picked the boys up, sent Max right to bed when he got home and sat around worrying and stressing about this new behavior. No nice restaurant dinner (I wanted the salmon with apple slaw and basmati rice, Leo was going to have the ribs), no evening with friends and wine. It was a serious bummer. 

I went to bed early, partly out of dejection and concern, partly because I needed to rest for my planned big run this morning. I haven't been running in 8 days, which is horrible considering I'm trying to get in shape for the Philly Distance Run (half marathon) on Sept. 21. I'm still really on the fence about doing the race. It's a long distance, and very expensive to sign up ($65). When I think about it I don't get excited, just kind of anxious, which I think is a good sign I shouldn't do it. Anyway, I was determined to get the distance done before the race. Many training programs don't have you running the distance of the race before hand. I understand that, but I need to mentally have that confidence of "I've done this distance before, I can do it again." 

I wanted to run 13 miles today, but for some reason I just can't get past 11. Today was better than last time I tried, I got to 11, had to walk half a mile, and then finished the run. I should be really pleased with that, but it was slow, and kind of painful. It made me realize that I don't want to run a marathon. I think I'll do a half (this year or next, still not sure), but leave that as my longest. It takes so much out of me that I lose the euphoria of running. I don't want to feel like I'm crawling over the finish line, I want to feel like I'm flying over it! 

Max and Nicky have a dentist appointment tomorrow and then school starts for them on Wednesday. Hopefully we can put these temper tantrums behind us when school starts....